"Successful people don't have a magic potion. They are just like everyone else......except they don't quit"
In the many years I have spent working with people to help them reach their goals, I have come across ONE single thing that is the most destructive to reaching any goal. It is the ALL OR NOTHING attitude. Are you an an all or nothing person?
I can say with certainty that I totally am! I am the first to admit! Most of you know I just returned from a week long vacation. This vacation was in a tropical paradise with slushy drinks, yummy food, and nothing to do but worry if your lounger was positioned in the direction of the sun. Okay okay, that was a cruel description, but my point is that for me, being an all or nothing person, this could be a disaster and derail my healthy habits. On one hand, I have this tropical paradise with nothing to do but relax---and on the other hand I have 6 days of no workouts, highly caloric drinks and food. The old me would have shuddered to think I would ever go that long without working out, especially while consuming pina coladas and island fare! I have learned that this all or nothing attitude leads to unhappiness and failure. Because really, is missing your workouts for a week really going to change much? What if I just learn to moderate the food and drink I'm consuming to off sett the no workouts---what if i just kick back and enjoy myself in all aspects of this vacation. What if I give myself the green light to enjoy myself without blowing all my hard work? What if I found balance?! I have learned the hard way how to control this all or nothing attitude, and believe me, I am much happier and have never been in better shape. I mean where would I be if when my plane landed I said, "well, gained a pound or two with those slushy drinks and I sure havent worked out---might as well just quit".
Still not sure if you are an all or nothing person?
Well, let me break it down for you. When your workouts aren't "all" (you've missed a workout), you're most likely going to choose "nothing" (skip the next, and the next, and the next) because you feel it's not worth doing. Have you ever given up on eating clean because you missed a workout? Or maybe you ate something off plan and then immediately determined the day was lost so you skip the gym. How about this: you slip up and eat something off plan and then begin a day long binge fest because you might as well, you ate that cookie. Sound familiar?
This all or nothing mentality will DESTROY your goals if you don't learn how to control and diffuse it! I didn't say get rid of it, I said control it.
I see people put themselves through day after day of rigorous workouts and clean eating, they start out very strong and all is well for a while. But then, all the sudden it becomes really hard to keep it up, life gets in the way, things happen and they start to slip up with the workouts and the eating----they think its the end.
FIRST OF ALL, THERE IS NO "END" OR "FINISH LINE"
Sure, you can set temporary short term goals, but we are all in this for life---that is, if you want your results to stick. Its great to work harder for temporary joys in life like trips, weddings, reunions, etc.... but really, if you don't plan on making fitness and clean eating a part of you for the rest of your life, honestly, you might as well just forget about it. But how do we do this because its just so hard---its hard work!! THE KEY IS BALANCE!!! When it comes to diet and exercise you have to find a healthy balance. Let the all or nothing mentality go!
If you are going to eat something sugary and sweet, or if you are going to take a day off from your workout, well then enjoy it! Make it worthwhile and savor it. .It is totally OK if once in a while you have a piece of cake or eat a hamburger----AND THEN YOU GET RIGHT BACK ON THE WAGON. Don't beat yourself up about it and give up EVERYTHING you have worked so hard for because you encountered one little hurdle. Enjoy and move on!!! THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
I AM NOT GIVING YOU A LICENSE TO DO THIS EVERY HOUR OR EVERY DAY.........
No one is perfect. We are all going to have off days, off workouts, off weeks. So if you think your going to continuously make perfect choices day after day, week after week--wrong! Here are some helpful tips to get that all or nothing mentality under control:
1. BE REALISTIC
Healthy living ebbs and flows. Working a lot this week? It's unrealistic to think you will hit the gym every evening. Set a more realistic goal for that week, even if its a 15 minute walk during lunch--you are doing something!
2. REGAIN FOCUS AS SOON AS YOU LOSE IT
The very moment you fall, get right back up and do the things you know are going to bring you closer to where you want to be. Remember why you're doing what you're doing and how good it will feel if you finish the rest of the day strong. If you eat off plan, get back in the healthy mindset. Get in an extra cardio session. You must immediatley see the rest of the day as you would want it to be!
3. FOLLOW THE 10 MINUTE RULE
Something is always better than nothing. If you aren't in the mood for your workout, commit to ten minutes. After 10 minutes you will either feel motivated to finish the rest of your workout or you can call it at 10 minutes knowing you at least made a small effort for that day! I live by this rule, most of the time, unless I am really under the weather, I go past the 10 minutes.
4. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Oh what a slippery slope! The all or nothing attitude is loudest when it's screaming "Come on! You totally used to be able to run that fast/wear that size/accomplish that goal---what's wrong with you?" Living in the past is pointless and you will never get anywhere. Situations evolve. Stop comparing yourself to your prior abilities and focus on what you can do right now. I am constantly saying this in my classes---who cares what you even did last week---what can you give me today?!
5. VIEW SETBACKS AS OPPORTUNITIES
Injuries, illness, and pressure at home/work can feel like serious setbacks. The all or nothing attitude demands that we give in or give up. View these setbacks as opportunities for growth! Pressed for time? Try shorter interval workouts that will end up challenging your body and you may see some surprising new results!
THIS IS YOUR STORY. YOU ARE THE SUPER HERO. YOU WILL RISE ABOVE!
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